Remember: What I say has no bearing on your thoughts and feelings about this book. This is purely my take, and I am not any sort of expert. This is just my blog, where I can spout all kinds of nonsensical thoughts that I think have meaning , but likely they have none.
There are many times that I will read a book, and then take a week to digest my actual feelings about it,then I regurgitate them all over this page. I now have this odd conscience I never had before. Since being on WordPress, and also with talking to writers and following authors on Facebook, I am for once, pausing before telling how I felt about a story. Well, fuck that. It is not my place to blow sunshine up anyone’s ass. Not today, and not tomorrow either.
Here is what Amazon had for a description of Slightly Sinful:
Meet the Bedwyns—six brothers and sisters—men and women of passion and privilege, daring and sensuality….Enter their dazzling world of high society and breathtaking seduction…where each will seek love, fight temptation, and court scandal…and where Alleyne Bedwyn, the passionate middle son, is cut off from his past—only to find his future with a sinfully beautiful woman he will risk everything to love.
As the fires of war raged around him, Lord Alleyne Bedwyn was thrown from his horse and left for dead—only to awaken in the bedchamber of a ladies’ brothel. Suddenly the dark, handsome diplomat has no memory of who he is or how he got there—yet of one thing he is certain: The angel who nurses him back to health is the woman he vows to make his own. But like him, Rachel York is not who she seems. A lovely young woman caught up in a desperate circumstance, she must devise a scheme to regain her stolen fortune. The dashing soldier she rescued from near-death could be her savior in disguise. There is just one condition: she must pose as his wife—a masquerade that will embroil them in a sinful scandal, where a man and a woman court impropriety with each daring step…with every taboo kiss that can turn passionate strangers into the truest of lovers.
I did not like Slightly Sinful. Are the rest of the Slightly books going to be as dickless? I honestly hope not. The Survivor’s Club books seemed dickless too, at least the few I read. Maybe I should put a meter on all my reviews that give a Hero’s attitude shown in Dicks. The douche meter is separate. Sometimes the hero is not a douche, but he is definitely has a dick rating of manliness. I need a tiny image of a penis. A drawing will do. Since I do not have one, I will use the scale of one to ten dicks.
If you have 10 dicks, then the guy is overly man like, too much of a good thing can be really bad. Men in old school romance novels who rape women because they think they want them and go through the book smacking the girl around and treating her like meat, that is a 10 in the dick catagory. Not a good thing.
In Flowers for my Love. That guy had about 9 dicks. If the Hero of a story has 5 dicks, then he is arrogant, but forgivable, and I like him a lot. For example, Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice gets 7 dicks. He is a dick, but a redeemable one. Some would say it is better to have too many dicks, than not enough dicks. I would say 5 dicks, would be excellent. 5 dicks is going to be just about awesome. I am trying to think of a 5 dick book, I will add it when I can remember.
I would say for this book, Slightly Sinful, Alleyne has a rate of about 2 dicks. Maybe one and a half. 0-1-2 is a rating that suggests a whiny man who complains a lot and says words that sound as if he is slightly on the pink side. If you don’t know what the pink side is, well … Anyway, if you don’t know, then I am not about to tell you.
Alleyne is not my favorite hero. In the first chapter he tells us he is terrified and scared to death of being on the battlefield, he has become a diplomat because he feels worthless, and he has never wanted to be a military man. All of this is fine, I wouldn’t want to be on the battlefield and I bet many men are terrified and scared to death, but I was starting to paint my picture of the man, and I was finding as the chapters went along, that he seemed more like Alan Harper from Two and a Half Men than Alleyne, the messenger who got shot in battle. I tried to shake the image, but it kept floating back. Poor Alleyne (Alan). From what I understand, in the book before this one, Slightly Tempted, he was also referred to as poor, sad Alleyne.
Things only got worse for Alan (Alleyne). He was shot in the leg. But, he was scared? To go to a medical tent, (minus one dick), so he chose to fight the pain, (he earns a half dick for that) and rides for home. He wanted to get away from the horror of war as soon as possible. Because he was bleeding (he was shot in the thigh) he started to lose consciousness, and his horse reared, and threw him off. He hit his head on a rock or a tree, and he passed out. Local scavengers stole all his clothes. Everything. He was naked, (poor Alleyne). How much more emasculating can he possibly be thought of?
But it gets worse. Rachel, our H, comes along with her huge sack of back story of sadness and pity and “feel sorry for me looks”, and finds him. She too, is going to scavenge the dead.. She sees poor, worthless Alleyne naked and dead (thought to be) and what happens? She laughs. She LAUGHS! Yes, I would say that throws her into the one and rising dick ratings, and not only is Alan (Alleyne) written as a man who loses his clothes, and has only a two dick rating to begin with, is now laughed at in death. (she thinks he is dead). This image does not paint a nice picture of Rachel, or of Alleyne. As a matter of fact, I am rather put off by both of them at this point.
Rachel then feels sorry for Alleyne, (he is losing dick points by the second), and touches his face and finds he is warm and has a pulse. So, she finds help from a passing military man, a Sargent who has just been given his walking papers, his position in the military is gone because he lost an eye. Convenient that he was passing? Yes. Should Rachel have had the opportunity to fall for said passing military man? I wish! Instead the Sergeant , his name is William , is an older man who is very kind. (He gets 4 dicks for being a hero, and helping).
Rachel has a long back story, but I won’t get into it much. She is an innocent girl who has lost everything, and befriends a houseful of whores. Somehow, Rachel meets a man who she ends up falling in love with, and the man takes her, her friends, and her house of whores all for granted, stealing all the money they have saved. Rachel is left holding the bag. Destitute because of what had happened, the ladies of the night tell her that she can live with them. They are also broke, because of Rachel, and decide to scavenge the dead to get enough money together to go after the weasel who stole their fortune. That is when Rachel finds Alan (Alleyne) in the forest.
Rachel has told the Sergeant that the naked man is her husband, therefore she brings him and the sergeant to the brothel instead of manning up and telling the Sergeant that she was a scavenger. They get to the brothel house and Rachel realizes the sergeant is not well. He had lost an eye, and he was now sick with a fever. Now the ladies who have taken in Rachel, and lost all their money because of her, now have a wounded naked man and a sick sergeant to care for. Rachel is not winning any brownie points from me. Because now the ladies have to stay “open” for business twice as much to feed the ever increasing household. They are in a war ravaged country, how many men are there around for them to seduce? I am running the numbers and it seems we are too just accept this, and be okay with it.
The relationship between Al and Rachel progress, but now there is another obstacle. Alleyne has lost his memory from hitting his head. Does he take this like a man? No. (minus another dick, I am losing count. We might be on 0 dicks.) He frets, he worries, he has nightmares, he worries some more. He says he is terrified that he won’t know how to shave or if he will know the man in the mirror. At this point, I am hoping that when he regains his mind, he finds his balls.
The women of the house adore him, like a doll at a tea party, and I am surprised they don’t dress him up. Rachel, of course, is his angel come alive and she starts realizing that Alleyne is looking at her like all men have all her life. So, she is telling us that she is a bit conceded. (They both gain a dick for this. Now Alleyne has 1 dick and Rachel has 2.) He also states that he is a man, by telling us that he wished he had more coin in his pockets so he could sleep with all the whores, especially Rachel. (this little tidbit gained him an unworthy dick point, and made me not at all happy with him. It was to show that he was a virile man who loved the ladies I guess.. Gets him out of the pink a bit, I suppose. (So now, Alleyne has 2 dick points. Good for you Alleyne!).
So, he thinks Rachelle is a whore, and Rachel (the screw up) does nothing to make him think otherwise. Who raised her? Things become slightly tepid, (that is about all I will give it), and Alleyne kisses her. Since he kissed her, he is gaining on dick points, but he has not gotten a whole one yet. Maybe a half a ball, but not a dick point, yet. For some reason, one that I cannot quite understand, Rachel decides to sleep with Alleyne. I am not sure as to why. The kiss would have been a good start, but she throws herself at him. And they end up having mild hot sauce sex. Meek mild sauce, maybe even less meek than Taco Bell Mild.
Maybe just cut up tomatoes and cilantro and onion, (but only a little onion), salt and pepper, green pepper kind of sex. Maybe more salsa. Looks colorful, not a lot of spice. Maybe less taste than this. Cancel the salt and onion, and lesson the cilantro. Okay, less colorful too. Less green pepper, more tomato..
Alleyne finds out she is a virgin. I wont put you through the details, but it was over quickly. Alleyne loses a whole dick point for this. Then, in the after party, he demands she tell him why the devil she lost her innocence to him, and becomes a school marm, demanding she tell him. She does, but he continues to nag her about it, which made me want to smack him.
He got a half dick back for being an asshole. Then, he says that he knows the act was as disappointing for him as it probably was for her. I don’t know if he gains an asshole point, a douche point or loses a dick point for this. I think he gains a douche point.. Alleyne is at two dicks and one douche. Things do not look good for Alleyne
I lost interest after that. I only made it to page 123. I am sure I missed a lot of sniveling, whining, complaining, hip swaying, silly things the ladies of the house said and did, some heartfelt truths, and maybe eventually the two of them had good sex, but I read a few reviews that were not five stars and they said that it never really happened.
I am truly sorry that I have reviews up now for two MB books and both of them are unsatisfactory. MB is one of my favorite writers. I now will be on a mission to find one worthy. Anyone have a suggestion? I would love to hear one. Besides Notorious Rake. Because Notorious Rake is my all time favorite story by any author, and that will never change. I will love Mary Balogh for that one, if nothing else.